Mixed Thoughts

So I was randomly watching video's on youtube when I came across the mbc auditions, I decided that I was going to watch a few. Two hours later I actually sign into my youtube account, which for that matter I ever sign onto my youtube account, and decided that I was going to vote for some very talented people. I found it really interesting on how many people want to be a singer, I guess if I had the voice for singing I to would try out also. Hell even if I had guts to advertise my terrible singing voice to the world I might have put something on there. I have got to say that although I haven't heard all of the auditions, I have to applaud everyone that did put an audition in because it takes a lot of confidence and pride of oneself to do that. I found most of them very enjoyable.

On to another subject, I have got to say thank god that Black Friday is over! I am so exhausted from the set up, and Black Friday weekend working, it makes me not want to work or even shop another Black Friday. There are some grouchy ass people! Scenario: It is the 2 days after Black Friday and people decided that they want to come shopping looking for stuff that is extremely popular (Kinect bundle sensor ex...) and demand to get one. Well for fuks sakes, you and fuken hundreds of other people before you wanted one, its not my fault that you didn't want to wake up Friday morning and wait in line. If you wanted one just go to a fuken regular store its only tax you gotta pay outside of a military shopping mall establishment, it ain't even that much. If you want one sooo sooo bad do not come to me and yell, when you are the lazy one that didn't want to battle the crowd on Black Friday and expect to have any left two days later. Cause no matter how much you yell I can't do a magic trick and pull that shit out of my ass cause if that was the case I would of pulled a million dollars out of my rear and bought me some fricken groceries. Thank god this weekend is over!

Oceans

I've gotta say that boy does time fly. I have been kept busy with school and work, I've tried not to buy any books that would distract me, and I've put in minimal time with the comp. I'm not sure if I'm succeeding in my goal to try and do better in school, but I am trying.

This semester is my first time painting, its been a really interesting experience for me. From what I am told watercolors are supposed to really hard, for one because you can't really control it. I found that you have to have a lot of patience and not demand the paint to do your bidding. It has been a really good learning experience for me.




I believe my most successful watercolor painting at the moment hopefully I will get better and do more.

Day Around the Island

“It is good to realize that if love and peace can prevail on earth, and if we can teach our children to honour nature's gifts, the joys and beauties of the outdoors will be here forever.” ~jimmy carter~

Hmm. going around the island makes me miss the big island some times. Its also makes me realize that there is some parts of the island that is beautiful. Its probably because I don't have a car and can't venture this far usually and all I see is city. It makes me really appreciate the rare times I can venture further then the city. Taking the bus isn't the same as driving around the island.

Games up the wahzoo

Well I figure I might write something other the bitching and moaning so here is me trying to.

Lets see this next few month is going to be very hard financially hard. There are a crapton of video games coming out. This week I will be picking up Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, hopefully its good, next week Halo Reach. The legendary edition! hells yeah! what a waste of money but i'm so going to get it! Also later on this month is the release of Final Fantasy 14, not to sure if I'm getting it, I don't think my comp can handle. I haven't been able to download the beta it's been flooded. I'm not to sure what comes out next month I'd have to check. But looking at getting Fable 3, Starwars Force Unleased 2, and maybe Assassins Creed the Brotherhood. Oh maybe Little Big planet for the little sack boy doll!

So far this school year art is pretty much the same, you go in a do your work and just work at it. This year I'm taking watercolors it seems interesting enough, this is my first time working with a paint brush, really new for me. Also this year I am taking biology. it seems alright, but I fall asleep in class I need to find a way to dig deep so I don't fail. Hopefully the lectures will get better through out the semester.

More Bitching and Moaning

Well I have really neglected to write this month, I'm just plain lazy. All I pretty much do is go work, come home roll around the house a bit, read a book and go to sleep. I guess that is what I do all the time. I haven't watch any new dramas lately, I have read a few books this month, trying to get the reading bug out of my system because I start school next week and when I read my mystery thriller books I tend to neglect everything else. I don't know if its because I'm overly tired or if I'm just to damn heavy but my knees have been killing me lately. No matter if its my day off or if I'm walking around it hurts like hell and it not just one knee but both of them.

I know I have got to lose weight which I have been trying to do. Every time I use the weights which is like 5lbs by shoulder hurts like hell. I know people will say that I am terribly out of shape but its kind of hard to say that when I am lifting things regularly, its not like I am sitting in one place and wasting away, I move my arms all the time. Its just when I am doing stuff that requires rotating my shoulder and arm, I'm guessing that cup area it hurts really bad. So painful I have to like take some painkillers and stuff, I try to rub on some Chinese ointment that take away the pain, but man I don't know what to do. My boyfriend says that I am totally out of shape and that its supposed to hurt, hell I only have to do like just 20 counts of those lift the 5lb weight over my head and that shit still hurts. I wonder some days if I should really get that shit checked out by my doctor.

Oh well maybe I will tell em on my next visit. I think I bitch and moan in every one of my post which is kind of depressing cause it means I got nothing good to talk about, or if the bad just completely over shadows the good in my thinking. Oh I have one good note, after counting my credits I think I only have like 3 more years till I actually graduate and this is with my off and on schooling and taking one class per semester, unless I start taking 4 classes per semester and then I will graduate in like a year or so. I am getting somewhere finally. I have made progress even if it is hella slow progress.

I Hate Walmart

I have one question why would you put a display of a product on the shelf for sale, when you don't fucken have it in stock! Really, if a product says take to cashier to purchase and get product, wouldn't you think it be in stock when there are at least five other display boxes that say the same thing??? Well apparently walmart thinks that it is smart to fill a shelf with empty display boxes that say take to cashiers to purchase display only. WHY THE FUCK FILL THE SHELF IF YOU AIN'T GOT IT!!!!!!! I was debating for a while on a drama that cost $60 and when I finally get to the register they tell me "Oh I have to see if we have it in stock." Then they tell me they don't have it. . . So pissed off.

Then I call to make a complaint and the manager tells me I don't know what to tell you, I don't know why they would fill a shelf full of display boxes if we don't have it in stock that is something we might have to bring it to the attention of manager in charge of that section. I'm sorry I don't know what to tell you. I would have been fine if there was a out of stock sticker next to one display box, but no there was a shelf full of empty display boxes that said take to register to purchase. So plain and simple, if you don't have it put a out of stock sticker or don't fucken put out any boxes that say purchase at register.

Shichi Henge

I just finished watching this drama Shichi Henge or known in America as Wallflower. I came across it a couple of month ago but never really got around to watching it. Gotta say I really like the manga and the anime, it took me a couple of episodes to warm up to this live action but I really enjoyed it in the end.

They didn't use everything in the manga but I think they used some of it. It was really funny, I liked seeing this manga as a live action. I though that the ending was kinda satisfying compared the anime, lets just stay I'm a stickler for happy endings and this had a happy ending. I thought that it captured all the elements that made the manga funny, the interaction between Sunako-chan and Kyohei.

I wonder if the manga will give them a happy ending? Oi The only thing that really bugged me in the live action is Ranmaru. The actor that played him just looked different from the other three. I'm not saying his acting is bad or anything just that he's different maybe that's a good thing. But if you have some free time and want to watch something funny, I suggest Shichi Henge. ^_^

Writing Monster

I was just looking at my boyfriends blog, and I have got to say wow. Its like only the beginning of the month and that dood has like ten post. TEN! Dood is a writing monster, I know I'm not the most dedicated blogger there ever was but damn, I feel sorely lacking in the writing department. Not that anyone reads this blog anyway but damn. I guess I can write some random post on stuff that I have been reading lately.

I will do like news in 30 seconds! Lol. I am so lame I laugh at my own jokes. . . So moving on I have been reading on forums and random asian news blogs about the Kim Hyun Joong from SS501 has signed with Keyeast. I'm just stating my opinion so if any hardcore fans find their way to my pitiful blog please don't attempt to verbally kill me. Its not like I can write on one topic anyway I have a short attention span.

I think career wise it was a good move for Kim Hyun Joong, one; he moved to another company which could help him grow, two; looking at the albums they have released SS501 has released more mini albums then full albums. Looking at other groups that came out around the same time they seem to have more albums then SS501. Not saying that I'm anti or anything I really like some of there music. Hehe thats all I got cause the rest of my shit is rambling.

I was going to write an entry about the last book I read but then I decided that I can leave that for another post. Then I to can make mega blogs only mine wont make any sense. ^_^ Ha! I just remembered something. . . Kim Hyun Joong rumors about being the lead actor of the korean version of ISWAK cool totally cool. I really like that drama, hopefully it will be good. I will try to watch it with a open mind cause I liked Kim Hyun Joong in BOF, but Joe Cheng's acting in ISWAK was good, well I really liked the Ariel Lin and Joe Cheng combo. Hopefully they can find a leading lady that will have great charisma and just click with Hyun Joong. I can't remember the word so click was the best I came up with. ^_^ Ahhh... I think I'm done.

Chocolatier

I just found out that I am a really boring person. I had rented this game off of Gamefly maybe less then two weeks ago and I have finished it. Its not a very exciting game, you click on shops, stores and different locations.You go around the world buying ingredients to make certain recipes. Each location sells specific items. Then you click to sell stuff, as you go along you collect different recipes for chocolate and then new areas will open. The whole point of this game is click, click, click. I am such a boring person, I have no idea what I found entertaining about it, but I just had this urge to collect better recipes. At least i finished it with more then 13 million makes me feel rich T_____T cause you know I'm broke as dirt in real life.

O_O THIS GAME IS EXTREME! THE BEST GAME EVER! My quest for world domination is over mwahahahahahahaha! OK I think that I have finally cracked. LOL

Bored

I know there are days when I want to stay home from work just because I don't want go, but when I am home sick I want to go to work. I hate work but it always seems like instead of stay home sick work is a better option. I must be feeling a little better at least I am up and around the house, trying to cook something, and trying to do laundry. I just feel a little dizzy now and then. right now gatorade is my best friend. I have been weary about water when I am sick, cause the last time I was sick and drank water that shit didn't stay down, the only thing that would stay was the gatorade. I think this is enough for the bored/sickly person I ain't feeling to hot sitting here I think I am going to lay down and rest.

End of the Road Rant

I have come to the end the road for one of my jobs, I have gotten to the point that I can't stand going to work, management disturbs me, and every little thing bugs me. I know that there is like one good point of staying there is medical but they just don't pay me enough to care anymore. For one thing when I came off of night stock they were only supposed to take fifty cents off, but then they took an extra twenty five cents. I know that to some people that is nothing but when you don't get paid much to begin with that is a lot.

One of the few reasons that I have stayed there this long is because there are some pretty cool coworkers, but the other day we were having a conversation on why we are still at this grocery store and a lot of people say that is cause of the co-workers. When asked if they were offered better pay somewhere else if they would leave they said no cause they would miss everyone. Then when I answered people thought that I was heartless, I told them yeah I would miss them but if given the opportunity I would leave for better pay, one they don't pay my bills and two they don't put the food on my table. A lot of people that I work with don't get that. One they have the luxury to live at home with there parents who relatively pay for every thing.

They tell me how I don't understand what its like and how hard their life is with all the bills they pay, when I ask them what kind of bills and how much I usually get the same response. . . their cell phone, gas for their car and then maybe a utility bill. I think that living on my own with my boyfriend has made me semi bitter to those that are supposedly "struggling", cause the first thing out of my mouth is at least you have a car you can drive I cant afford a car cause I don't make enough to cover payments. Then I get into an extremely drawn out argument cause I don't understand. I don't understand? HOW THE FUCK CAN'T I UNDERSTAND! I live with my boyfriend in a apartment where we have to pay fucken $1100 for rent, then we have to pay utilities, phone, fucken groceries. . . the list never fucken ends. How can't I understand that living at home with parents is fucken hard! Man I wished I lived at home with parents that paid for fucken everything! I trade those bitches one month of my life so I can understand how fucken hard is it to pay for practically nothing.

Totally not what I started to write about but I guess I needed to get that off of my chest. I have been haterizing against a lot of people I can't tell them what I actually think cause then no one would talk to me, not like work is for socializing anyway. Maybe next time I will write about the intended subject.

Art

Flowers To Go

The Martini Derby

Class Collaboration #3

Class Collaboration #2

Class Collaboration #1

I felt that I should expand my horizons a little and add some spice to this blog. . . I don't know if this would do but its something new for me. All of these art work was done for my art 213 class. The first two drawings was done by me and the last three was a class collaboration, it was worked on by everyone in class at least once.

The first picture is called Flowers To Go. It was a drawing I had to do for a statue that is supposed to reflect my personality, that was the original idea but some of the items that I had chosen for it didn't hold my interest which was how I got the origami as a topper for my Chinese take out box. That drawing was a pain in my ass! It took me 4hours for the first drawing and then I had to take it to class and had one of those working critiques and then it took me another 4 to 5 hours to make it bit more polished.

The second drawing was a project called Spin the bottle. I was supposed to draw a bottle moving either bouncing or spinning. I spent hours upon hours trying to draw bottles in motions and finally cracked and started drawing cartooney stuff, it drove my teacher mad she kept giving me a lecture on taking my art seriously. I told her that I hated drawing bottles and ellipses. The on the day my project was due I handed her The Martini Derby, then she told me she wanted me to do a series of them. I am a total procrastinator and is still thinking of ideas for the Glass series.

Strange Fate

This is great after what felt like 10 years of waiting, there is news from beyond the grave. Strange Fate is finally coming out next year! Woohooo! I started reading L.J. Smith's books back in the mid 90's, the very first book that I had read was The Captive. It was the book that introduced me to witches, and from there I became a advent fan. I love the way the characters draw you in to the story, just plain and simple I love her books.

I went on to read the night world series which strange fate is from. She touches on vampires, witches, werewolves, shapeshifters, and the soul mate theory. I love the back story in how the first vampire/shape shifter/ witches became, and because she had linked all of them together I found it very intriguing. My favorite character from the night world series would be Raksha Keller from Witchlight. She is this a black panther shapeshifter grunt who works for Circle Day break(they be the good guys). One of the main reason I love her character is that I like panthers, out of the big cats I find them fascinating, and the second reason I like Keller is because not only is she a badass grunt, she is very loyal and compassionate, but doesn't really show her feelings.

STRANGE FATE!!!! WOOHOO! COMING SOON TO A BOOK STORE NEAR MEEE! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

panick

wow, i really forgot how to log in to this blog. . . i guess it was only time that i forgot, cause i usually forget my passwords as soon as soon as i set them. a lot of people tell me that i am a old person trapped in a young persons body. i am totally absent minded, easily distracted, and very very forgetful( isn't that all the same thing?). not to mention i have to take medicine to prevent glaucoma, I've got really bad knees, i think its just because I'm to fat, and so far i haven't done much about. because for one thing I'm short on cash, i know veggies are cheaper all around, but when you got make a meal for 2 and the other person ain't to keen on veggies. there ain't nuthin more to say. cause when you got the resources to feed 2 people one meal you ain't got much options and really some days veggies are extremely more expensive or technically to eat healthier is expensive. totally off the kicker from where i started this entry but oh well, what can you expect from a scatterbrain.

Another day . . .

Wow, time really does fly. Hopefully I can keep up with my Japanese class, so far on the first test it doesn't look so promising. I think that I need to apply myself more then reading regular books.

It has been a month since my grandma died, for some reason it feels like it has been longer then that. I know that if I don't really think about it that I'm usually alright. But when I dwell on it, it's kind of hard for me. I know that I did everything that I could for her, but I always feel that I could have done more.

I know this post has got some random topics going on, but I feel that I should just get my thoughts out. Hopefully the year will get better, I know that I have to pay off my credit cards, cause those bitches are calling me, and if I don't pay the balance they might take me to court. I know don't get credit cards, but I already have so there ain't much that I can do but pay them off. hopefully that will soon get better too, I need a new job . . .

Hmmm. Its been awhile since I really read a book but in the last few days I have read maybe three books. The first book that I have finished was a J.D Robb creations in death. Even though these books are centered on one particular person I find it really interesting on how she makes each book different and interesting. The main character is such a strong person yet she is still a little fragile. I love the sarcastic humor, and how she always wants to break her computer and car. Though I always find it intriguing on how the author comes up with all these different serial killers. I think that is why I really got into this series, I like the murder mystery type of books.

Another author that I like in the murder mystery type of book is Kay Hooper. But her books tend to go into the paranormal. I wonder if people are really psychic and stuff. Her books tend to be on the spooky side sometimes. I was reading one of her books in a park listening to the lord of the rings soundtrack I freaked myself out. I think this is enough for today, maybe next time I will write about video games or something.

What A New Year

I have got to say that so far this new year suck. . . I know people get old and die, its just that dealing with all the memories hurts. I'm usually fine when I am around people but when I am walking around by myself I feel a lump in my throat that wont go away. I don't get really hungry and I don't really feel like eating but I do because I don't think grandma would want me to wither away. But it just feels so overwhelming, and I don't know what to do with myself. I can say that I am a strong person, but I don't think that I really am. I'm just hoping to get over my grief and start healing. I know she is better off then suffering, but I can't help but feel sad. I feel sluggish like I'm walking in water trying to make my way around, not really hearing, not really thinking. I hope after the funeral that I will like there has been some closer.

I don't think any one really reads this other then my self but, if you have people that you love and haven't talk to them in awhile they dont have to old, they don't have to be sick but you never know what life might bring, go see them, talk to them. Don't regret it after they are gone cause they can't come back to chat. If there were thing you want to know, or recipes you like to have best ask before its gone. Silence can't answer your questions. Don't let them go not knowing that you loved them, that you were proud etc... Because then you are left with more questions that cannot be answered.